8 reasons why people in happy relationships cheat
Infidelity is not entirely a black and white area as most people seem to think. The shades of gray appear when you take into consideration the fact that not all instances of cheating are born out of malicious intent or a painful situation. Good people in happy relationships cheat all the time, for no immediately apparent reason.
When we hear about infidelity, we assume that the couple's relationship was floundering or that the person is inherently evil. On the contrary, people who cheat aren't always such one-dimensional characters, and Psychology Today recently explored the various seemingly benign factors that can trigger an incident of infidelity.
Read on to find out why happy people cheat on their partners.
1. They get a kick out of it
One of the strangest motivators is the thrill of doing something forbidden or taboo. So many adolescents find great satisfaction in breaking rules and exploring the limits of what they can do, and when adults do the same thing, it takes them back to their youth.
When there is something that is closed off to you or withheld from you, you crave it even more. Forbidden fruits often yield the greatest emotional rewards, and the costs that come with them are often forgotten in the thrill of the moment by people who are unfaithful to their partners.
2. They're looking for novelty
Sometimes boredom can push people to do things they would otherwise never fathom doing. Sex can become a recreational activity, and when they feel like they can't find any at home or with their partner, they may look to other people to satisfy their desire for novelty.
3. They're curious about what they're missing out on
If a cheater got into a serious relationship as a sort of rebound after their previous relationship ended, then they may be questioning their choice of partners. They may feel as if they settled for less. They may also feel like they were hasty in settling and would like to explore the options they missed out on.
Infidelity offers a way out, to discover the kind of people they are most compatible with, and also to escape from the confines of their relationship, especially if they feel like the relationship is holding them back from the person they are truly meant to be with.
4. They're exploring suppressed emotions
Sometimes the release people feel when they cheat is more of an emotional one than a sexual one. When people feel like they can't express themselves to their partners or that they have no outlet for the frustrations in their relationship, they may turn to someone else to accept them for who they are or to purge themselves of their frustrations.
5. They don't know if they've found 'the one' yet
Having second thoughts about your relationship, no matter how happy you are can open the door to a myriad of doubts and questions about your relationship. People who are unsure of whether they're ready to settle down with the person they're with may end up cheating.
The idea of a soulmate is so ingrained in the popular consciousness through all the literature and movies dedicated to the concept, that people believe that even the slightest imperfections in a relationship are reason enough to believe that they haven't found 'the one'.
6. They think that sex and love are separate things
A major problem with the way people look at sex is that it is often viewed as a standalone concept. They see sex as merely the fulfillment of bodily desires that may or may not have anything to do with love. This makes it easier to indulge in sexual infidelity while remaining in love with their partner.
The problem with this view is that sex and love are not so easily distanced. They are quite intertwined concepts, and the emotional connection that occurs during the act of sex is not a switch that can be turned on or off, but is often determined by the body's physiological response to the other person.
7. They saw their chance and took it
Not everyone has the self-control to say "No" to an opportunity to sleep with someone. While an idealistic partner believes that their emotional attachment to their lover will protect them from any form of infidelity, not everyone can resist temptation in the heat of the moment.
Whether our defenses are lowered because of the consumption of alcohol in copious amounts or because we're in the company of someone we've known forever, cheating can become an attractive option when it is easy to indulge in at the moment.
8. They were brought up amidst infidelity
The environment in which you are brought up has a major impact on the development of your personality and your underlying morality. People who cheat often have a skewed sense of morality when it comes to infidelity, often because they grew up with a parent who was often unfaithful or no longer around.
They replicate the environment of their childhood because they are used to being in the tumultuous household that is created when one partner is unfaithful. They may even justify their cheating in much the same way they may have seen a parent do.
