8 signs that you are being too hard on yourself and how to fix it
If you have a voice in your head that says you are inadequate or not good enough then you need to stop thinking so, take a deep breath, relax and appreciate yourself.
We have been taught to be kind to others and be the best version of ourselves around people. In this process, we ignore ourselves, but in reality, we should be helping ourselves the foremost. With our busy schedules and so much competition around us, we have forgotten to take a break and look after ourselves. You need to be kind to yourself and acknowledge the efforts that you have put in to get this far.
If you have a voice in your head that says you are inadequate or not good enough then you need to stop thinking so, take a deep breath, relax and appreciate yourself.
This might make you feel like a narcissist, but it is important to acknowledge and be kind to yourself to maintain proper mental health.
You might not realize it, but you are diminishing your self-worth and self-esteem that would lead to stress and anxiety hampering mental health. Being too hard on yourself allows negativity to seep in and erodes the positivity from your mind.
Due to the unwanted pressure, you might feel guilty for not being able to do something or go into an unhappy zone, which would hamper productivity.
Being hard on yourself is generally to push your limits and get more work done.
However, this won't be possible as a majority of the time you will be cursing yourself and being too hard on yourself, which won't help you to focus on your strengths and positives. So, here are 8 times when you are too hard on yourself and diminishing your self-worth.
1. You apologize for everything
Being too hard on yourself can push you down a steep slope and make you feel like every mishap happens because of you. So, before even processing and registering the situation “I am sorry” slips out of your mouth. And if it is your fault you beat yourself up for days and dwell on your mistakes that does not give you mental room to think of ways to better the situation.
There is no harm in apologizing, but apologizing excessively can hamper your mental health because you tend to believe that every problem is your fault. This also shows the lack of faith in your abilities due to the diminished self-worth and makes you perceive yourself as the weakest link.
2. Unaccomplished tasks dissatisfy you, always
Irrespective of your focus through the years and the goals you have accomplished, you never seem to be satisfied. Well, setting continuous goals is a really good practice to harness the momentum and maximize your efficiency. But, it is also necessary to take a moment and acknowledge what you have achieved and pat yourself on the back for your outstanding progress. Celebrating your success is as important as setting goal after goal and achieving them.
3. You tend to second-guess your self
Have you thought of an idea and dismissed it without sharing it? If you do this consistently then you are being too hard on yourself and second-guessing your ideas. You might think that your idea is not good enough or it might be ridiculed, thus, the hesitation to share the idea. Well, you need to have faith in yourself and muster the courage to share the idea, well, it might turn out to be an awesome one.
4. You fear embarrassment
This is the most obvious indication that you are being too hard on yourself and holding yourself back from trying something new. You hold yourself back thinking that you might end up making a fool of yourself. Well, you would be doing a disservice to yourself by not trying new things, you never know what it might amount to.
5. Guilt overpowers your mind
Even if things are not in control you tend to feel guilty that a certain task remained unaccomplished or you were not able to attend a gathering. You might get the flu and are unable to visit your friends, which is completely out of your control, but you feel terrible about canceling on them.
When you are being too hard on yourself guilt is an omnipresent emotion that lingers in your mind. You would feel guilty for the smallest thing and beat yourself up (metaphorically) for it. This feeling always tends to hold you down making it necessary to appreciate yourself.
6. You constantly compare yourself to others
Every person is different and there is always going to be someone smarter, prettier, or wealthier. If you tend to compare yourself to these people and constantly try to be better than them or be on par, you are being too hard on yourself. In the process of bettering yourself, you are destroying your self-worth and slowly killing your self-confidence. Comparing yourself to others is never going to make you feel better about yourself, so, you need to be happy and make peace with who you are.
7. You occasionally feel good about yourself
You tend to focus on your flaws and consider yourself to be inadequate for all the tasks assigned to you. Well, you need to lift the pressure and stop being hard on yourself. Perceiving yourself to be inadequate or rather not good enough will feed the negativity in your mind and not yield any fruit.
This goes along with your inability to take compliments, which is something to be avoided. Own up to your triumphs and celebrate! In a general scenario when you acknowledge and appreciate yourself for doing something, your reasoning goes to luck rather than your hard work.
8. You focus on things you cannot change
You fail to acknowledge that there are certain things out of your control and tend to make a mission to change the unchangeable. Being too hard on yourself can push you through this downward spiral that sabotages your mental peace. This is paradoxical because you diminish your self-worth being hard on yourself and obsess over doing things to lift your self-worth.
This explains why you are always cranky and refuse to reward yourself when you accomplish a goal. Crankiness is an outcome of the mental pressure that you are putting on yourself, which is showing its effects externally. You have starved yourself of relaxation and any form of fun, which is hampering your mental health.
If you can relate to or all of these traits then you have been hard on yourself, well, you need to bring amends to your life. There are small steps you can take that would mentally benefit you and instill positivity. For instance, if you cancel dinner plans with a friend then rather than feeling guilty, rescheduling would do the trick. In this case, you should treat yourself the way you would treat others. Take a break, pat yourself on the back and appreciate yourself from coming this far.
